I have moved a lot in my life. I don’t mean like two or three times. I have moved so many times I have lost count. I don’t even remember all of my previous addresses. I’m an unwilling gypsy, and soon I hope to change that. One of the downsides of moving so much is that I don’t have a lot of friends, much less aqcuaintances. When I was younger, I decided to just stop putting myself out there to make friends because it was futile. I didn’t like finding people who I got along with so well and then having to leave them before an attachment could take place. I didn’t like all the effort it took to share life stories and find commonalities when I would be leaving them behind anyway. Why bother, right?
Well, I am sick of being lonely. I’m sick of not having anyone to talk to, anyone to visit, anyone to go out and have fun with. I am tired of being so desperate for company that I latch onto any person who will start a conversation with me in the grocery store check-out lane. A few weeks ago I actually contemplated giving my phone number to a mom who is the anathema of everything I stand for (she was on welfare, had kids with all kinds of behavioral problems, and couldn’t do anything but complain about her deadbeat boyfriend) simply because she had kids my age. Yikes!
This loneliness has got to end, and that is why I have started putting myself out there again. I’m ready for a change. So, since I can’t very well just go to church to meet people as anyone else could, I’ve had to get creative. The library here doesn’t do story time or play time for toddlers, and every time we’ve been to the local park we are alone. None of my neighbors have young children, and the only playgroup that advertises in the local paper is a Christian one. How am I going to meet other women with kids, you may be asking? I took an ad out on Craig’s List. Yep. I listed a wanted ad for playmates for my kids. I’ve actually had a bit of interest in it from moms who are in the same situation as I am, but almost all lived much too far away for us to meet up with. The one who lived a bit closer set up a playdate with me up in Lansing for last weekend. I was so excited. The boys were so excited. We talked on the phone and emailed with this woman, and we even planned out a picnic.
She didn’t show up. I’m glad I volunteered to bring the main parts of the picnic (sandwiches, fruit) because we would have been pretty hungry otherwise. Why are people like this? Why can’t anyone just stick to their word? She had my phone number, but didn’t even bother to call ahead of time to tell us that she wouldn’t make it. Nope, she called that night, all care-free and whatever-ish. She wanted to set up another time, but I politely refused. There’s no way I want someone like that for a friend.
So what’s up with all of the false people lately? It’s not only playmates for my kids, but people who are interested in things I’m selling. I’m trying to sell our new, barely used refrigerator, some furniture, and a few other things. People call and tell me they are interested, then proceed to get directions and set up a time to come and look at my stuff for sale… then they don’t show up! It’s just so rude.
I think I may have found a true friend through this blog though. She is friendly, loves to talk, has kids in the same age range as mine, and to top it all off – she’s a fellow atheist homesteader. I’m going to see her on Friday. Hopefully we’ll hit it off, because I’m starting to go crazy all by my lonesome. I’ve taken to writing stories and inviting over Jehovah’s Witnesses just to feel like I get some socialization. Oh, and I walk through the grocery store chatting with random people, while I push an cart with only kids in it because I don’t need any groceries. Yup. Pathetic.
Carla, I’m really looking forward to meeting you this weekend! And, yes, I WILL show up!